Hap-Napkins Horn Holder Nabbed
Wed May 7, Holy Moses, CO
We all know what happens when an adult gets mad; nothing. Maybe a few drinks, domestic disturbance, then resisting arrest. But what about the children? What happens when the children get mad? They hold little signs outside the Holy Moses, Colorado courthouse in protest.
On April 16th, Casey McHallenbotum was arrested on charges of pedophilia. But not your normal, everyday, child-raping pedophilia. McHallenbotum has hit a new low molesting innocent unicorn adolescents (NPI*). The arraignment is set for June of 2009 and this is one reason that the children are in such an uproar.
Hap-Napkins in his Majestic field where the alleged touchings took place
The second grade class at Halverston Memorial Elementary School is especially hurt by the fact that not only was this man a pedophile, but he was molesting their own school mascot, Hap-Napkins in his Majestic field–located behind the soccer goal. The children have spent the last week making picket signs to hold in front of the courthouse in protest to expedite the trial of McHallenbotum. The fact that children are actually doing something interesting has caught the interest of major media outlets including John Stossel.
Stossel pictured here getting ready for his interview with the children of Halverston Memorial
Judge McColembyrt was unavailable for comment due to his impending coma. His representatives promise a swift and just trial as soon as he comes out of the coma, which they are expecting to be some time in June of 2009.
*NPI = No Pun Intended