It has been a long time since I have spoken to you about the NAUSEA process… and what a process it has been!
We began production in the latter parts of October, 2008. Originally we had planned on going it without making a schedule and shooting the picture in chronological order. I wanted the story to evolve in an organic manner; not being forced by false ideals and the biases of cast and crew, but in fact, force the creators to trust in the material’s own desires. Trust the story to become what it wants to be and to progress and warp and change in the way that it feels fit.
This worked. Superbly.
Of course, life and art do mimic one another. Regardless of the cliche; art and life are one in the same. Especially when it is a prerequisite of the cast and crew to approach the work as a “method artist”… to become the characters and to react to the uncontrolled circumstances predetermined by the writer.
Romances flared up throughout the production, addictions came and went, sexual perversions surfaced in our dailies lives, our psychology began to deteriorate. The obsession of the work consumed me.
And this all comes across in the image.
We are in the final week of the shoot. Forced to scramble the production to the end by the threat of losing the equipment to a move to Denver, CO. The stresses really hit hard, both with the cast and with myself. Trying to balance life and work and movie making is an impossible task when all people involved have children and heavy responsibilities. And when the total budget of the production is in the negative from day 1. There have been times when we have nearly raped each other… or at the very least beheaded…
But the movie is nearly done. And what do we have to show for it? Nearly 20 hours of intense, creepy, hilarious, and totally original raw footage. I could never be more proud of the performances and the creativity that has been put into this production from ALL people involved. From a stand in camera operator to an extra; every individual working on this production has lent at least a small portion of their soul to this. It is not about one person or one story or one theme… it is about humanity. It is about experience. It is about all of us. And that is enough to make any “filmmaker” content with the work put into the project.
All the pain, all the laughs, all the stress, confusion, desire, obsession, addictions, promises, rejections, all the personal and the business, all the artistic and creative and spiritual and existential experiences, thoughts, words, actions, glances, kisses, fucks, fights, arguments, all of these and more to come are NAUSEA.
NAUSEA is not a movie. It is a moment in time. It is OUR moment. The darkest winter I have experienced.
The last day of filming is next week. Post Production has already began. The scenes are meshing together into a kaleidoscope of vomit and romance. This is truly a one of a kind movie. No one person can credit themselves to the creation of this picture, but must be humbled to the experience. This was real creation. For all involved.
Thank you.
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