Loading ...Unicorn Quarterly
Commentary from Leslie Stapleteen
This has been too long teeming inside of me…
Beautiful ankles and staunch power
writhing in sexual agony.
I feel my unicorn brethren
breathing clouds of infidelity.
My white power princess Ariana,
you light my world aflame
with supple amounts of your godliness.
If only uncle Adolf could see your fresh, new style.
Take care, my white, rainbow princess.
Tonight……..
The author of the above “extenda-haiku” [...]
Unicorn Visits Starving Villages
Fortifa “The Master Unicorn” Visits Starving Lands
Pleased villagers in a strange land
It seems as though it was only yesterday that I witnessed the glorious, mercy of the great Fortifa and his power over the hearts…and stomachs of the people of Ethiopa.
I had travelled to Ethiopia last August to study the effects of cheeseburgers on starving [...]
Straight Hornin’ – The Fallacies of Unicorn Parties
Unicorn Parties Reach All-Time High
A poll taken by three gnomish creatures show that unicorn parties have reached an unprecedented number. It seems as though there are more and more unicorn themed parties showing up throughout the world by the year. Although this news sounds fabulous for the unicorn lovers everywhere, [...]
Wrong Again, Henry House Martins
NEW ADVANCEMENT IN UNICORN TECHNOLOGYDesign plan for The Studies of Unicorn Advancement’s new prototype, The Zunicorn.
Scientists working under The Studies of Unicorn Advancement (SUA) have taken a giant leap in creating a new hybrid of Unicorn. The Zunicorn is three parts Unicorn and one part Zebra. SUA plans to submit a completed Zunicorn prototype to [...]
Unicorn Pedophilia Touches Students
Hap-Napkins Horn Holder Nabbed
Wed May 7, Holy Moses, CO
We all know what happens when an adult gets mad; nothing. Maybe a few drinks, domestic disturbance, then resisting arrest. But what about the children? What happens when the children get mad? They hold little signs outside the Holy Moses, Colorado courthouse in protest.
On [...]
The Quest for the Power of the Infant Unicorn
All my life I have dreamt of seeing the one thing that truly matters… a baby unicorn.
As all people in all walks of life are obviously aware, the mere sight of this toddler can and will heal all illness, both physical and spiritual…
My life has been dedicated to discovering this angelic creature, wripping open my [...]